Sunday, April 6, 2008

Being the Grandma- not the MOM!

I went to see Brooke, Evan and McKenzie this past weekend. When I got there Brooke was gone and wouldn't be back for an hour so Evan and I decided to take McKenzie to the park around the corner. It was cool and breezy but once we got there she didn't seem to mind! I am not as familiar with how well she does on the equipment so I was rather nervous- I kept saying "hold on" and "careful" more than I remember I ever said to my own children at the park! I have been to the park with Kenzie several times but she is increasingly more daring and crazy each time we go!!! She even almost tumbled over the side of the tall slide. She wants to go higher and faster on the swing, go down the highest slide, and she runs all over the place with reckless abandon!! Evan was very cool headed about the whole thing but not me!!!



When Brooke got home we went to run errands while Evan went to the 5 pm session of Conference for the men at church. I found myself constantly automatically giving her what she asked for only to have Brooke say NO!! I know it messes up her appetite but I still bought her a Jamba Juice an hour before dinner! Then at bedtime - even though her Mom said only one song- I still sang her 3! Things escalated this morning when she kept saying she was hungry when she really only wanted attention. But she cried saying she really was hungry so I gave her more snacks.....So my point is being a grandma is tricky business!!

I want to spoil my grandchildren but I know I shouldn’t corrupt them either!! I try really hard to respect Brooke and Evan’s, and Ian and Anayansi’s wishes. It’s not that I disagree with them. Everyone is entitled to raise their own children without my interference!!!! But my heart melts and I want to make the world right for the kids!! As a parent it is so much easier to stay focused and be consistent. As a grandma it is only natural to want to give it all to them!! So forgive me, Brooke and Evan. Forgive me, Ian and Anayansi (because when I come in less than 2 weeks I will have the same challenges again with Reagan and Jenna!!) I do try and honor your wishes but sometimes I fail miserably!!! Just know that I am not being critical of your parenting. You are fantastic parents. I just want to be able to do my thing- that’s what grandparents are for- right????



4 comments:

Barbara Theobald said...

Hey Liz, YOU have earned the right to 'spoil em' and then go home. After all, you had your years as a Mom who had to say 'no' 'no' 'no'. I love that I can spoil em and love em and go home again. There are some rewards for getting older......I feel you are the best mom I know and a great Grandma. Keep up the good fun, and enjoy your trip to Ian's. Love, Barb

Anayansi said...

Oh Liz, you can spoil my girls all you want. They hardly get to see you....just no candy. (That is your son's rule.) We are excited to have you come. Seriously, you can spoil to your hearts desire. The girls don't get to see you that often so it is expected. And trust me, they are waiting for it. :)

We'll see you soon.

brooke said...

Mom, mom, mom. We LOVE that you spoil McKenzie. And Heaven knows that you are her best friend. We are never critical of how you much you spoil her. That IS what grandmas are for. I am just funny about how she never eats at the actual meal time and loves to snack all day long...always something I know. You are the best mom. Thanks for coming and we will see you soon right before you head off to Ian and Yansi's.

Liz said...

I wasn't being hard on you, Brooke- I just know it's hard to set good habits with them when the grandparents undermine you!!! It was my own guilt- not anything in particular you said though!!